Probably the most distressing thing in the Private Investigating business is to see how adults use their children as pawns on a chess board of hatred, emotional depravity and manipulate them as insignifcant pieces whose little personalities and emotions can be discarded with little remorse or regret.
I have come to believe even stronger that most children are in desperate need of both parents whenever that is possible, short of extreme neglect or abuse, children grow and are nurtured best by both parents equally. I would really like to see a complete revision of our court system so that mediators are used with the intention of preserving the rights of both parents when it is feasible. Giving just one parent primary custody or sole legal custody creates such havoc and distress for the children. There has to be a way no matter how difficult where agreements can be made that are best for the children. Parents must put aside their selfish reasonings and pride to do whatever it takes to raise their children in the most normal enviroment as possible.
When judges allow themselves to become so bias toward one sex or toward one type of parent then they have no moral compass to guide them to unbiased decisions based upon what is best for the children. I see case after case where children are deprived of good parents time, love and guidance because of inept judgements. As the investigator we truly get to see both sides. We are hired by one side but when we are done investigating the other, we have also had time to learn more about our own clients. No one is perfect and certainly all our clients are not perfect, as much as we would like to believe we are also on the side of right, they too have flaws and need support and guidance.
There is something terribly wrong with our system when a loving mother who has spent most of her time as a stay at home mom until the divorce while her husband has been philandering and leaving home after work till all hours of the night, and then deliberately seeking out employment and not bringing his family with him to an out of state job over and over so he can basically be a bachelor to suddenly find herself fighting to even have visitation with her children every other weekend, to be forced to return to work to pay child support for children who are not even wanted by the father but he seeks to destroy her so he finds illicit ways to win in court. What is wrong with this picture?
Or how about this picture? Two men serving our country are basically swindled into having sex under a ruse and a few drinks, lied to about fertility and deliberately chosen for their vulnerability and naivity, they find after a cleverly used ovulation kit selects the best time that they are now fathers, who then turn around and pay child support willingly only to find man after man raising their children while their mother plays all sorts of games to keep their children from them. Additionally courts systems are mocked while these children are deprived of their decent good fathers and made to call different men daddy in their very tender years all because a woman is too lazy to work and wants a steady stream of support from men. How can this woman believe that she will not pay in the Karma sense or in the sense of reaping what she has sown? Her children unfortunately will pay the higher price while they try to sort out who their daddy is and how many more men will stand in, will the real daddys ever be able to take their rightful places before it is too late for these children?
Or what about this one, Grandma finds out that the ex son in law is watching porn in front of his small little boy and doing inappropriate things in front of the child. She takes the child to the counselor and as a result is forbidden to see her own grandchild after the pervert wins custody. This is a wonderful grandma who paid for private schooling and knows that the perverted father only wants the child to make the wife come back. I shudder to think if we will have a serial sex offender in a few years after years of being subjected to this filthy treatment of women in his fathers house.
Courts use guardian ad litums here in Mississippi and one has to wonder what they are thinking when they do not do a proper investigation of the facts. One situation comes to mind. This attorney states in a report that the one parent drove the children in very severely inclement weather but never bothered to check her facts with the weather history which would have shown her that the other parent was lying, which then would have had the other parent put in a proper light. Another situation has a grand parent keeping a diary from the day her grandchildren were born and all the entries are against her in law, odd that this person would have foreseen years before the need for a diary, you think a guardian ad litum would have questioned the validity of such a well constructed instrument. There ought to be some consequences for these lawyers if they do not investigate statements made by each party that they intend to put as facts in their reports.
How can a judge order a parent to have a psych evaluation for herself and her child and nothing is happening for over a year and this parent is not held in contempt. Our system is broken. Judges are biased and have way too much power in the decisions regarding children because too many children are continuing to be damaged. There needs to be more accountability in the court system. If the appeals courts see damaging evidence of inproprieties against judges they need to overturn those decisions and if judges will not follow the law and do the right thing by children they should be de benched and possibly disbarred.
50% of marriages end in divorce, and many of those involve children. We are in an epidemic crisis mode and emergency status. Who will stand for the children if we as Private Investigators don't?